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Til Death Does Us Part - Katrina #singlespotlight

Tell us about you and your fiancé

Roderick was my best friend. He was a true Libra and my balance when I would get out of control. He was never intimidated by influence and was so supportive of anything I did. He is the only person I knew who listened to my radio show every day!! LOL!! He was just the type of person who was there for other people. He loved life and loved living life. He was a Father who adored his children and was just as good to mine. He was a coach and middle school teacher who loved his students and was a SUPER Falcons fan!! If you wanted to make him mad, talk about how sorry the Falcon was. That would lead to a fight. LOL! 

Q: Losing a loved one can be an incredibly challenging experience. How have you personally navigated the process of healing and finding hope again, especially in the context of your work as a love coach and editor? 

It was especially hard because he was supposed to come home. So healing was, and still is, in steps and very intentional. I am still in disbelief to this very day that he is not here. It still doesn't feel real although I know it is real. But the one thing that helped me is that he loved my passion for love just as much as I did. The in-depth conversations we would have about relationships and his journey to getting it right were so healing for him and that was healing for me. My joy comes from seeing People loved well and the benefits they get from it. And because I knew what it felt like to be loved well, that was something I was determined to have again, and I know Rod would want me to have someone love me like he did, If not better.

Q:  Many people may wonder how you continue to believe in love and relationships after facing such a significant loss. Can you share what keeps you inspired and motivated to spread love and positivity in the world? 

Because I know what being loved well does for the mind, body, and spirit!! Yes… Exercise and Eating well are good for your health but Finding your PERSON provides benefits that you couldn’t imagine.   Studies have shown that it lowers rates of anxiety and depression, and contributes to higher self-esteem, you also become more trusting and positive in life.  It strengthens your immune system, helps you recover from disease, and may even lengthen your life. Because we were created to be with one another, it’s only fitting that we operate better together. Not only 

You benefit from receiving love but GIVING love as well. There is nothing more pleasing than contributing to the happiness of someone who you care for! And because I have experienced that level of love, not only do I want it again, but I want everyone else to have it as well. 

Q: What advice would you give to those who are going through similar experiences of loss and are struggling to find hope and meaning in their love lives and relationships? 

Take some time to grieve!!! I did not do that. I jumped right back into everything like nothing happened. Work, parenting, business... and everything suffered because I found myself trying to stay busy instead of trying to FEEL reality. Go to counseling, and therapy, cry, and cry some more if you need to but be intentional about not staying there too long. Sometimes, we get there, and we stay too long, and it becomes our new norm, our new identity. You have to remember that life still exists for you and that it is not selfish for you to keep living. That feeling that you had with them, you can feel again with someone else. And that doesn't mean you will or have to stop loving them to be available to love or be loved by someone else. Love is healing. It does your heart, mind, and spirit good experience LOVE.

Q: This may be a difficult question, but I must ask, if you were allowed to have a five-minute conversation with your fiancé, what would you thank him for concerning you and what he taught you about love?

WOW!! I would thank him for not only loving me well but doing the work to learn to love me well. I would like to thank him for being my best friend and cheerleader. I would thank him for being an example of what I tell me exists... a good man... not a perfect man but a good man. I would thank him for holding me down while I came up. I would thank him for loving my kids like his own. Last but not least, I would thank him for creating the blueprint for the type of partner I want for my life. He was truly My Lover... My Homie... My Friend. He taught me that I wasn't asking for too much, I was just asking the wrong ones.

Q: Finally, what message or words of encouragement would you like to share with those who may be feeling disillusioned about love and relationships, based on your own experiences and the work you do?

I would encourage you to believe good love does exist. Start there. Your thoughts shape your reality. What you believe is what you receive. So, if you think nothing good exists, it doesn't, and vice versa. The other part of that is to evaluate yourself. The question "Would YOU date you" is a valid one. Developing yourself to be a good partner, also develops your energy to attract a great partner. All your success starts with you. The delusion that some people live in is that it is "everyone else". That is a clear indication that more likely than not, it's YOU and you need to step out and do some self-work. 

images by Ballie B Photograph



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